I've gone through a similar realization in my life. Just today we are finishing a long weekend on Ohio Amish countrywith my 5 adult children, their spouses, and my 12 grandbabies. I've become the family patriarch at 68 years young with all kinds of age related pains, illnesses, and strength so to speak. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what that looks like considering my capabilities.
Maybe a small thing, but to me in my tiny situation it meant:
1. Serious quality time with each grandkid, one on one. Going swimming, playing hoops, playing pool, watching a movie, let them help building a camp fire, showing them how to make Smores and roasted marshmallows, sharing pictures/stories/laughs. Given my natural preferences, none of this would happen. In essence, I gave myself to them. Yes, I'm beat.
2. With 20+ people and 12 kids (oldest 12), meals are not quite to the level of organized chaos. But I would initiate the prayer time - if nothing else to let them see what it looks like. I would ask them what we should pray for. And I was the guy to drive to town for last minute essentials. And always the last to eat, last to bed.
3. When they left to go back to their lives. I pulled each one close telling them things like "you are a very special kid", or "do you know God has great plans for you?" Or "do you know I love you with my WHOLE heart, not just a part?" (where I get the obligatory "yes Baba, you tell me that all of the time"). Of course I do.
4. Perhaps most importantly, I bring God into our conversations, especially with my adult kids. With their adult problems.
IOW, just walk the Walk. Life is much too short to not walk with Jesus. Intentionally, deliberately, with a prayerfully considered plan on what that walk looks like. It is not a coincidence that I am so incredibly blessed. I challenge all who claim the name of Jesus to prayerfully consider something similar in your life.
Hey Brother, I rejoice in your moments with those you love, and those that love you. This: “IOW, just walk the Walk. Life is much too short to not walk with Jesus. Intentionally, deliberately, with a prayerfully considered plan on what that walk looks like.” Is perfectly said.
My heart aches, I too want this in my life. I am a married Christian woman. My husband is a believer, learning, young in the faith, not yet a mature man in the Lord. Challenges are not seen as his opportunity to grow. "He has his ticket." I am thankful he believes in Christ.
Is there a program for wives to address their walk as being patient, kind and supportive, even when their husbands do not live according to the Word? I want to present myself before my King, having lived according to His desires, what I was created to be, and to be a good wife.
I put on my armor and pray for wisdom every day.
Thank you for your open heart, to share and challenge us. God is so good!
Debbie, many of the things the Lord has done in shaping me are a result of my wife praying for me. There’s no other explanation. When I see her laying across chairs in our dining room, she is before the throne. Just seeing her do that provokes me to examine myself. God will honor every longing and help you too.
One of the most exquisite & profoundly beautiful things to my eyes and ears is seeing and hearing a heart rent before The Lord in abandon. God bless her.
Scott, this is so timely. I agree with you that men have been undermined and diminished in thei leadership roles, especially in the context of families. It's heartbreaking to watch and so damaging. I pray for the unsaved men in my family and that The Lord will raise up strong men to do His will. We need you guys now and most certainly, when the poo hits the fan, so to speak. Love and thanks from Australia.
Julie, I think we know a lot of stuff is coming. Some men will understand the moment and rise to their appointed mission. Others may cower in fear. I’m trying to address those men in the in between that need a little encouragement to fully commit. Greetings from California!
I love your story brother. When I got married almost 26 years ago, I was so concerned about how to keep our marriage on track with the Lord - my biggest fear was failing Jesus in our marriage. Before we got married, I would ask the Lord, do I really know Denise well enough to be getting married - I would constantly be asking Him - what if... what if ... So ahead of our wedding date, I signed up for a "Weekend to Remember" conference - this was certainly the Lord leading not any wisdom from within me. I heard the Conference advertised on Christian radio, and immediately the Lord lead me to sign up, and I could not do so fast enough. I booked the next available conference which was only about a week after our wedding date, and before our planned honeymoon. Through the Conference leaders, God really taught both of us a lot about marriage and beginning a marriage (we were the newest of the newly weds). I remember the last day discussion about "be a man" and lead. I wanted desperately to know how my new wife felt about that idea, and the discussions of the leaders inspired her to write me many kind encouraging notes asking me to lead in our marriage. God is so Good. She certainly has been a GREAT blessing to me, and God blesses me daily through her.
Amen and amen, Brother. God is so good. My wife and I are in our sweet season. You know, the one where it takes both of us to accomplish one thing, LOL!!!
Pray for my son, Chance. His marriage is upside down. He's been a stay at home Dad for a few years to get his sons in order. Now his wife (ungodly) is trying to run the house. It's my desire to bring them here to be with me for support. His wife's health is failing with epidermiosis bullosa. His 15 year old son has one final court date.
Pray the enemy's plans would not prosper against them. Pray that God will set His will in Chance's heart and for quick healing of an injury to his right tibia and fibula with a plate inserted. Pray that his faith and trust in the Lord not fail him.
Elizabeth, this is a lot, it must be hard. What we want for others in our life is not always in our control. But prayer can overcome. I just prayed for Chance. Especially that God will come near so that he gets more clarity. Proximity to Jesus always does that. Godspeed
Beautifully written! This brought tears to my eyes as I long to have this in my life. I so regret not letting God chose my husband and just marrying the first person I thought was right for me! The thing I want most now, is to see my King and get out of this whole mess. Thank you Scott
I think most of us have a spectrum of issues that we have to work through and then there's the issue of PTSD from past relationships. We can't get stuck. Always plead before the throne room and pray for those you love. Stay strong, you're in the gap now.
I am glad, I can help. I am from Arkansas. I went to the Family Life conferences as well as Robert Lewis's Quest for Authentic Manhood. We are called to stand for Christ and to lead or families. I is easier said than done.
That is a great testimony, Scott! Women need men to be men; Godly men. I have a younger brother who loves the Lord as does his wife and his church has men focused breakfasts & such.
They have a child with a problem and I asked, "do pray with your wife?" and he said no ...and then he said they started to and their marriage actually has never been better he told me he thanked me for reminding him / encouraging him to pray with her…
He was saying that he really needs the Christian men in his church and one he has coffee with regularly, one on one & his home life is improved. I think it's very important that men fellowship with other Christian men.
I also believe that women need the male balance (!). We think differently. Interpret scripture differently. God has an order in everything! I went to an all girls college and only lasted six months because it was insane absolutely insane without men on campus.
I am not married and need the male balance - so my brother is a "go to"... and a male Christian friend from High School (!) to bounce things off of.
Thank you for your post.❤️
Still praying for your beloved expectant parent friends in Japan💕
This is great: "I think it's very important that men fellowship with other Christian men." We do, but so many men are self-isolated. It's one of the strongest signs that many men need encouragement and support in the context of small groups! And thank you for praying, Susanna!
Hi brother Scott. I saw someone verified Stu Weber for you. He is a very close friend of my stepdaughter’s and stepson’s grandpa, Mike Ash. They were both Vietnam veterans and he posted an interesting YouTube video of the two of them discussing the Afghanistan withdrawal 4 years ago. Stu sadly lost his wife Linda this past April to cancer.
Thank you for this article… time is short! Our prayers for our men are powerful and effective!
Blessings to you and Becky from your Israel trip friends Kristie and Jim Gasca.
Hey Kristie, thanks for saying hi. Amir said "we're close" using Ezekiel 38 setup. It's the first time I've heard him be that direct. I believe it was a post on X. Godspeed Sis! #maranatha
Just for clarity, are you talking about your first and only wife or have you remarried? No offense but you don't seem Young enough to be married only 22 years. Thanks for sharing your insight.
Good morning, Lawrence. Brokenness over my first marriage of 20 years has shaped who I am today. The Lord redeemed that relationship failure. For my Brothers and Sisters who went through an unwanted divorce like me, the Lord can help you rebuild. My two kids and four grandkids are a gift I will treasure forever. God bless
I
Thank you my friend.
I've gone through a similar realization in my life. Just today we are finishing a long weekend on Ohio Amish countrywith my 5 adult children, their spouses, and my 12 grandbabies. I've become the family patriarch at 68 years young with all kinds of age related pains, illnesses, and strength so to speak. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what that looks like considering my capabilities.
Maybe a small thing, but to me in my tiny situation it meant:
1. Serious quality time with each grandkid, one on one. Going swimming, playing hoops, playing pool, watching a movie, let them help building a camp fire, showing them how to make Smores and roasted marshmallows, sharing pictures/stories/laughs. Given my natural preferences, none of this would happen. In essence, I gave myself to them. Yes, I'm beat.
2. With 20+ people and 12 kids (oldest 12), meals are not quite to the level of organized chaos. But I would initiate the prayer time - if nothing else to let them see what it looks like. I would ask them what we should pray for. And I was the guy to drive to town for last minute essentials. And always the last to eat, last to bed.
3. When they left to go back to their lives. I pulled each one close telling them things like "you are a very special kid", or "do you know God has great plans for you?" Or "do you know I love you with my WHOLE heart, not just a part?" (where I get the obligatory "yes Baba, you tell me that all of the time"). Of course I do.
4. Perhaps most importantly, I bring God into our conversations, especially with my adult kids. With their adult problems.
IOW, just walk the Walk. Life is much too short to not walk with Jesus. Intentionally, deliberately, with a prayerfully considered plan on what that walk looks like. It is not a coincidence that I am so incredibly blessed. I challenge all who claim the name of Jesus to prayerfully consider something similar in your life.
Grace and Peace to all.
Hey Brother, I rejoice in your moments with those you love, and those that love you. This: “IOW, just walk the Walk. Life is much too short to not walk with Jesus. Intentionally, deliberately, with a prayerfully considered plan on what that walk looks like.” Is perfectly said.
My heart aches, I too want this in my life. I am a married Christian woman. My husband is a believer, learning, young in the faith, not yet a mature man in the Lord. Challenges are not seen as his opportunity to grow. "He has his ticket." I am thankful he believes in Christ.
Is there a program for wives to address their walk as being patient, kind and supportive, even when their husbands do not live according to the Word? I want to present myself before my King, having lived according to His desires, what I was created to be, and to be a good wife.
I put on my armor and pray for wisdom every day.
Thank you for your open heart, to share and challenge us. God is so good!
Debbie, many of the things the Lord has done in shaping me are a result of my wife praying for me. There’s no other explanation. When I see her laying across chairs in our dining room, she is before the throne. Just seeing her do that provokes me to examine myself. God will honor every longing and help you too.
One of the most exquisite & profoundly beautiful things to my eyes and ears is seeing and hearing a heart rent before The Lord in abandon. God bless her.
Scott, this is so timely. I agree with you that men have been undermined and diminished in thei leadership roles, especially in the context of families. It's heartbreaking to watch and so damaging. I pray for the unsaved men in my family and that The Lord will raise up strong men to do His will. We need you guys now and most certainly, when the poo hits the fan, so to speak. Love and thanks from Australia.
Julie, I think we know a lot of stuff is coming. Some men will understand the moment and rise to their appointed mission. Others may cower in fear. I’m trying to address those men in the in between that need a little encouragement to fully commit. Greetings from California!
Amen. Praying this Sunday morning. Good word my brother.
Thank you, Sis
I love your story brother. When I got married almost 26 years ago, I was so concerned about how to keep our marriage on track with the Lord - my biggest fear was failing Jesus in our marriage. Before we got married, I would ask the Lord, do I really know Denise well enough to be getting married - I would constantly be asking Him - what if... what if ... So ahead of our wedding date, I signed up for a "Weekend to Remember" conference - this was certainly the Lord leading not any wisdom from within me. I heard the Conference advertised on Christian radio, and immediately the Lord lead me to sign up, and I could not do so fast enough. I booked the next available conference which was only about a week after our wedding date, and before our planned honeymoon. Through the Conference leaders, God really taught both of us a lot about marriage and beginning a marriage (we were the newest of the newly weds). I remember the last day discussion about "be a man" and lead. I wanted desperately to know how my new wife felt about that idea, and the discussions of the leaders inspired her to write me many kind encouraging notes asking me to lead in our marriage. God is so Good. She certainly has been a GREAT blessing to me, and God blesses me daily through her.
Amen and amen, Brother. God is so good. My wife and I are in our sweet season. You know, the one where it takes both of us to accomplish one thing, LOL!!!
Pray for my son, Chance. His marriage is upside down. He's been a stay at home Dad for a few years to get his sons in order. Now his wife (ungodly) is trying to run the house. It's my desire to bring them here to be with me for support. His wife's health is failing with epidermiosis bullosa. His 15 year old son has one final court date.
Pray the enemy's plans would not prosper against them. Pray that God will set His will in Chance's heart and for quick healing of an injury to his right tibia and fibula with a plate inserted. Pray that his faith and trust in the Lord not fail him.
Elizabeth, this is a lot, it must be hard. What we want for others in our life is not always in our control. But prayer can overcome. I just prayed for Chance. Especially that God will come near so that he gets more clarity. Proximity to Jesus always does that. Godspeed
Thank you brother Scott for your prayers, the encouragement and exhortation.
Beautifully written! This brought tears to my eyes as I long to have this in my life. I so regret not letting God chose my husband and just marrying the first person I thought was right for me! The thing I want most now, is to see my King and get out of this whole mess. Thank you Scott
I think most of us have a spectrum of issues that we have to work through and then there's the issue of PTSD from past relationships. We can't get stuck. Always plead before the throne room and pray for those you love. Stay strong, you're in the gap now.
Well said, dear brother! And as a woman I say “Amen” that we need men of God who will be men! Thank you!
Thank you, Marsha -- it's tough to admit it took me so long to mature ... none of us have arrived, but we can take steps and personal responsibility!
Stu Weber, Tender Warrior maybe the speaker that you heard.
Yep, that's him. Thank you DC
I am glad, I can help. I am from Arkansas. I went to the Family Life conferences as well as Robert Lewis's Quest for Authentic Manhood. We are called to stand for Christ and to lead or families. I is easier said than done.
Amen, Brother! Thanks for the heads-up about the Quest for Authentic Manhood. Not sure I've heard of that before.
That is a great testimony, Scott! Women need men to be men; Godly men. I have a younger brother who loves the Lord as does his wife and his church has men focused breakfasts & such.
They have a child with a problem and I asked, "do pray with your wife?" and he said no ...and then he said they started to and their marriage actually has never been better he told me he thanked me for reminding him / encouraging him to pray with her…
He was saying that he really needs the Christian men in his church and one he has coffee with regularly, one on one & his home life is improved. I think it's very important that men fellowship with other Christian men.
I also believe that women need the male balance (!). We think differently. Interpret scripture differently. God has an order in everything! I went to an all girls college and only lasted six months because it was insane absolutely insane without men on campus.
I am not married and need the male balance - so my brother is a "go to"... and a male Christian friend from High School (!) to bounce things off of.
Thank you for your post.❤️
Still praying for your beloved expectant parent friends in Japan💕
This is great: "I think it's very important that men fellowship with other Christian men." We do, but so many men are self-isolated. It's one of the strongest signs that many men need encouragement and support in the context of small groups! And thank you for praying, Susanna!
Thank you 🙏🏻
Powerfully stated, Scott, for both men and women!
Thank you, Trish -- yes there are two sides to this type of post, but I wouldn't dare speak on that side of it ;)
Hi brother Scott. I saw someone verified Stu Weber for you. He is a very close friend of my stepdaughter’s and stepson’s grandpa, Mike Ash. They were both Vietnam veterans and he posted an interesting YouTube video of the two of them discussing the Afghanistan withdrawal 4 years ago. Stu sadly lost his wife Linda this past April to cancer.
Thank you for this article… time is short! Our prayers for our men are powerful and effective!
Blessings to you and Becky from your Israel trip friends Kristie and Jim Gasca.
Hey Kristie, thanks for saying hi. Amir said "we're close" using Ezekiel 38 setup. It's the first time I've heard him be that direct. I believe it was a post on X. Godspeed Sis! #maranatha
Just for clarity, are you talking about your first and only wife or have you remarried? No offense but you don't seem Young enough to be married only 22 years. Thanks for sharing your insight.
Good morning, Lawrence. Brokenness over my first marriage of 20 years has shaped who I am today. The Lord redeemed that relationship failure. For my Brothers and Sisters who went through an unwanted divorce like me, the Lord can help you rebuild. My two kids and four grandkids are a gift I will treasure forever. God bless
See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stu_Weber. Gresham, Oregon.
His name is Stu Weber, former pastor of Good Shepherd Church in Sandy Oregon.
Awesome, thank you, Toni! That’s him alright. Note all the books for men. He’s an amazing influence.